Ego vs Pumpkin, an Unseasonal Holiday Tale
by EmilyJ on 3 August 2010I generally love American traditions, and watching the 4th July fireworks while chowing down barbeque last month was no exception. However, for someone who possesses a mammoth ego, a birthday that falls on that most widely celebrated of unofficial American holidays, 31st October, and a boyfriend from New York are an unfortunate combination.
Last year, he had a Halloween party in his apartment. Most of my British friends had recently returned to the other side of the pond, so only a few could make it. As a result I didn’t know most the people there and spent the evening chatting to a werewolf, the Times Square naked cowboy and Paulie Bleeker from Juno. I had fun, but did very little in the way of celebrating my actual birthday.
Last year, I put my foot down. I wanted to go out for dinner with Anthony – no parties, no dressing up, just me, him and a restaurant where they didn’t serve chicken wings. Unfortunately this became the cause of a) fights, b) passive aggression – “I thought you might WANT to spend time with me, as we NEVER SEE EACH OTHER” and c) guilt trips – “You know, this’ll be the first time in 28 years I haven’t dressed up for Halloween” (knowing his mother, this is no exaggeration – I can picture him clearly aged 1, in a pumpkin costume, clutching an Almond Joy in one hand and a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup in the other while cracked out on high-fructose corn syrup.)

Eventually I got him to agree to my plan of Halloween a deux, but there were setbacks. Having overlooked the prominence of the holiday in America enough to be baffled by my boyfriend’s attachment to it, I’d also forgotten the parade which dominates most of the village i.e. where all my favourite restaurants are located. Should we have managed to make it to the right side of 14th St, it was unlikely that we’d be able to get a table.
I called Babbo to test the water:
“A table for two on the 31st? You mean Halloween? Sorry, we’re all booked out that night.”
“It’s not Halloween, IT’S MY BIRTHDAY” I barked, before hanging up.
The day itself came and we stayed uptown. We had breakfast at the delightful Viennese Café Sabarsky at the Neue Galerie. We returned to his apartment to find a delivery of balloons from my little sister. She had also ordered Magnolia cupcakes which never arrived, but it’s the thought that counts. Shame on you, though, Magnolia. We pottered across the park, past Strawberry Fields, where a couple dressed as John and Yoko were having their photo taken. We ordered burgers at Shake Shack and were given a free serving of Spiced Pumpkin custard because Anthony told the man behind the counter that it was my birthday, then ate them on a bench outside the Natural History Museum. We stopped at Duane Reade to buy Tootsie Rolls on the way back, then sat on his stoop giving them out to the well bred trick or treaters of the Upper East Side.

Dinner was at JoJo on 64th St. Anthony ordered champagne and pretended he actually wanted to be there and was generally adorable and perfect. It had been a perfect day. Never satisfied, I wanted to go for drinks at the Carlyle on the way home. He was sceptical.
“Aww babe, it’s 50 bucks just to sit down in that place.”
Eventually he relented. Leaving the restaurant, however, a car sped through a nearby puddle, soaking me from head to toe (fans of Flight of the Conchords may note that he was not “walking on the outside of me” at this point). Retribution on me for making him miss his favourite holiday and testing him to the limit? Maybe. It was pretty funny though. We went home to shower and pass out in front of the Phillies game.
Photos by derek purdy and thebrokenone used under a Creative Commons License





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